Confessions – I Hate Being the Guy in Charge

I am not sure why I was lead down the path to becoming a teacher. When I was growing up I enjoyed school, and loved being able to make my teachers and family proud.

I always wanted to have a job where I was an expert in my field and was an essential part of a team that produced a tangible product. I enjoyed seeing the results of my labor.

For whatever reason, this has never happened. For the past 12 years, I have been a teacher. I have been the guy in charge of 18-37 students at a time, bridled with their educational and behavioral well being in mind. It is a tough job, maybe one of the most difficult jobs ”in the moment”. Yes, I do have more vacation days than any of my friends, but I often feel like I am under the pressure of a Wall Street broker while I am in session.

I am in charge of motivation, expectation, and remediation.

I am in charge of lock downs, fire drills, and dismissal.

I am the guy who they call if someone is bleeding, ruined their clothes with mud, can’t breather, broke a limb, can’t reach their basketball, can’t work the computer, and can’t get along with their friend.

I am that guy.

I sometimes have to remind myself of this. I am often tempted as one of my precious 2nd graders approach me, “Are they looking to me for guidance?” They must not know that I don’t quite have it all together either.

Don’t they sense that I am just a supplier of band-aids, extra clothes, CPR, cell phone, computer knowledge, and friendship knowledge.

I don’t have that much offer to them as the guy in charge. So I decided long ago to be the guy who does not know it all, I just embrace knowing that for this time and place. I am the guy in charge, who really relies on God to be all I can be in Him.


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