If I could never write another word and live with myself, I would just do it. I don’t like looking into myself, revealing many of my weaknesses and failures. I feel that there are so many, you might not read this if you knew.
Yet, I realize that some of you feel the same way. A lot of us feel like we have made too many mistakes in life and we deserve something less than another person. We don’t deserve peace.
I don’t believe this for a second.
I don’t believe that I am on some crash course to my untimely death.
I don’t believe that people don’t love me or enjoy being around me.
When I write, I say the things that I rarely say in public.
When I write, I have the chance to examine my thoughts, motivations, and reveal who I desire to be.
I can edit, reword, and change the way I am saying something.
So if I could quit writing, I would. I would spare you the time that you have taken to read this post. You could have played another few rounds of Candy Crush, Facebook stalking, and watching television (I know that is what I normally do with idle time).
I can’t stop writing, as it is the one solitary activity I do that actually brings me life. It helps me remember that God loves me. It instills in me that I am not what I think I am, I am what Jesus thinks I am. I will fail. I will scream. I will let you down, yet I will try harder to keep becoming like Him. I have to, it is the only way to find the next step for my life. I strive, struggle to see what He has next for me and what is in front of my face.