I Hate the Middle

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Shadow, my faithful pup, overlooking some of the work, installing a French drain in my swamp of a backyard.

I said something today and it made more sense after I thought about it for awhile. You might be like me? I say some things and then think about it later. This goes for the good and the bad that I say. On a hike around Bond Park this afternoon, I stated, “ I hate the middle.” I was talking about working around projects on our house. I like starting a project and I love finishing project, but I truly hate the middle.

When it comes to home projects, the middle is where the real cost is found. The multiple trips to Ace Hardware and Lowes. I keep forgetting some menial part and have to return time and time again. The watching of Youtube videos to see how to install or fix something that I already messed up. The nursing of being out of shape, hot baths with epsom salt, Aleve, and the joint pain. The middle really sucks.

In the middle, I find all the limitations that I have. I find that I am 40 now, and it feels much different than 18 (the last time I remember doing work like this). I realize that I only have so much energy each day to do manual labor, teaching has made me soft and my hands too delicate. I find that I am vastly different and weak, compared to the hardened carpenter hammering away for hours on end next door.

The middle make me reconsider my plans, change my intended goal. It takes so much of my concentration. The middle demands that I don’t go all ADD and start something else.

When I talk about the middle, I realize it is the place that I must work the most on. If this work I was doing were compared with a road trip, I would most assuredly say that it was a long frustrating drive in the dark and through the rain. Yet, it was a journey all in itself. Through a few weeks of projects around my house, I am reminded that after some practice, I am still that person who can physically work hard, if I am ever forced to. I can do it.

I hate the middle, but I think the middle taught me a lot these past few weeks. The middle helped me appreciate the house we are buying tomorrow. The middle helped me remember what a great career I have in teaching. I am blessed.

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